In response to unanticiapted buzz following Day 1 of "End All Be All", administration within rec league has decided to recap the events thus far from the first wave of games. 4 games were played today, and if there's one truth to come out of all this it's that Team Bill had better be in a funk. If not, and this is an inside look as to how their season will play out, Team Owner Bill Allen will have to go on medical-leave for mental health purposes. There's only so much "clapping" one man can take. He played 4 games today. He lost 4 games today. Averaging the least amount of assists thus far, the least amount of rebounds, the lowest 3P% (by far), lowest FG% (by far), it's no miracle that he finds himself in the abyss of the rankings. He displayed an uncanny ability to give multiple efforts, even if multiple losing ones at that...He only "Andy'd" one time, evoking utter fear into the crowd this afternoon with a deafening "F&*!".
Team Stretch surprised no well-informed fan at the Colleges, with more performances like today he'll be on a first-class flight to the Hall of Fame while Bill and Soaps carry his luggage. However, we cannot be so quick to give this man the gawk gawk 3000 after just one day. What the statistics do not show is how he had to comeback from major deficits in nearly every game today. Do his comebacks speak to his resliiancy or his opponents long-term fragility? Only a wider sample will give us insight into this question, but as one Little Wayne once said "Them numbers don't lie".
Soaps has but one game under his belt, but it was an impressive debut nonetheless. A comfortable win came after a demolishing performance on the glass. He pummeled Bill Allen into the dirt with Zion Williamson proving why he deserved to be the number 1 pick. He had been dealing with slander from the rest of O4 all afternoon, but his stickwork was a slap to their mouths. He has yet to play Team Stretch, and it appears that's the game to watch. Week 1 will be interesting, needless to say, just as Day 1 has already provided amazing moments, great freakouts, unanticipated comebacks, and relatively few veg outs. Word on the street is the over under for games Bill plays before breaking something is set at 8, comment with your bet!