By Doubleday Recluse
Fontane, Oklahoma - Some folks just don't like country livin' and I ain't inclined to persuade 'em otherwise. Don't pay me no mind, I'm just out here growing all the grain and soybeans, and some sorghum molasses, for y'all to get those juicy steaks you like over at the Roadhouse. I'm off the grid, and that's the way I like it. 'Xceptin' when WLC BBALL is in season. Then, I rouse ol' Clyde out from Harvey's Ink Station, and tell him to get me rigged up. You know, back on the grid so I can FaceTime using my grandkids' iPhone and watch WLC BBALL SZN SIX.
Sunday night, I pulled out my stash of Skoal Long Cut, fixed my arse in the rocking chair out back, told Momma to bring me a pitcher of sweet tea and a basket of chicken tenders and french fries (she makes 'em even better than the Sonic in town) and enjoyed the games. Here's my take on how the teams did. Just don't blame me for typos. I'm putting this out using my nephew Elon's Samsung Galaxy.
Team Brown v. Team Humphries
Man, Team Brown was looking angry from the gitgo. They wuz still fired up from losing last week and they set about showing Team Humphries, who came in cockier than a banty rooster in a Kansas henhouse. For the first time in 3 seasons, Justin Sivells made zero three pointers. That's right, y'all, he missed 'em all.
It's unbelievable but not a single player for Team Humphries made a three point shot. I mean, in the second game a player made 5 three's by hisself. What the heck. So's Team Brown came correct and dealt some serious defense and twisted Team Humphries all in a knot. They was disgruntled summin' fierce. Kinda reminded me of last season's playoffs when Templeman's boys wasn't getting along too well over playing time. Anyhoo, even though Team Brown had 21 turnovers - that's more than one every 2 minutes. I ain't even good at 'rithmatic and I know that's bad. Humphries held McLaurin to 14 points and last week's absentee Jeremy Miller came up big with 11 points and 13 snatches off the glass. All in all, it was a good 'un, as Team Brown, which leads the league in blocked shots, stifled Team Humphries 42-33.
Team Bell v. Team Templeman
The James Lipford show was better than the last time I went to the Carnival in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot. I thought buying fireworks from the Tennessee-Alabama SuperStore was explosive, but it ain't nothing compared to Lipford's laser guided missiles. I'm kinda surprised he didn't catch fire, like them characters in NBA JAM.
Mix in Steady Stephen Green, whose profile photo looks a heck of a lot like Sam Perkins, with 18 points and 13 boards, and Team Bell was in for a downright tussle. Captain Greg doesn't back down and he tried to bring a real comeback in the second half. But Captain Adrian led his pilferin' players and they snagged 17 steals off the Bell squad. Too little, too late, even for Mr. McDonald and his 15 rebounds. The final margin was 56-49, and Team Bell fell to be the only winless team through 2 weeks.
Team Posley v. Team Baker
The heavyweight matchup between the top two ranked teams in the Coaches Poll did not dissapoint. It was a serious seesaw battle. Kinda reminded me of the tug-of-war between me and Chester Larkin in 3rd grade. We was tuggin' on the same piece of licorice rope and neither one of us wanted to let it fly. But, Team Posley sure did let it fly. They knocked down 11 three-pointers. Team Baker wasn't far behind with 8 of their own, and the game was all square at the half, 38-38.
With 11 minutes left in the half, both teams had each outscored the other four teams on the night, and I was hootin' and hollerin' for Momma to bring me some fresh rocky road ice cream. Dave "Detlef" Dworske took advantage of Old Man Holser's tired legs and drove to the basket often, scoring 15 in the second half. Captain Posley was absent and his team played hard, but they kinda ran out of gas. The game was tied at 64-64 with 3:38 remaining, and the noise I was making passing gas was brutal.
Though Kory Cooper had the stat line of the week with 21-10-5-4, and Mike and Damien Butler did plenty of damage, Pochekailo's 17 & 12 helped give Team Baker a massive 53-27 rebound advantage. Granted, most of them boards was off their own missed shots, but they absolutely murdered Team Posley on the glass. In the end, a few breakaway lay-ups and a few misses for TP was all it took as Team Baker moved to the 77-71 victory and stand atop the rankings at 2-0.