Rob Wonyetye, a former elementary school derelict and classmate of a past BGBL champion, was traded from the Raptors to the 76ers for half a bag of Fritos.

The 76ers, needing a veteran replacement for sharp shooter Marc Ortiz (torn meniscus), figure Rob can hit the occasional 3 while also increasing team morale by heckling opposing players.

The Raptors parted with Rob to address a rotation logjam. He and his agent had requested a trade because of dissatisfaction over his role, or lack thereof.

Rob, a four-year veteran who doubles as director of league entertainment, has made two BGBL Finals appearances, with one championship. His resume also includes Man of the Year (2018) and Degenerate of the Decade (2019).

-Paul Owers